Thirteen: Batman Begins, Friends with Babies, and Helping the Helpers

Awhile ago (around the time I started this blog, which has been going on for way more than just a year– sorry, Gary) amidst the end of a very busy summer, two of my closest friends spent an evening with me; a stop on their way back home from their summer vacation. They’re a working married couple with a dog and, at the time, a baby on the way, so as you can imagine any time spent with them feels like a flukey blessing.

The odd thing about long-term friendship is, despite the forming of an uncanny, reassuring confidence in your relationship once you understand that you’ll never have to truly fear their absence from your life, one feels the need to absorb said friend’s presence like a sponge. I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to feel hollowed out when I’m on my own, so when I’m around the familiar I ping back and forth between infantile joy and faint, what-I-assume-to-be Adult Concern that these happy feelings will vanish soon, and it will be back to the grind. Old friends make me feel like I have something GOOD in my life, and time with them is something I fiercely protect.

  • Batman Begins’s ranking on the Oldometer: 9/10
  • Gary Oldman character quality: Jim Gordon is one of my very favorite Gary characters– in fact, at the moment I am wondering if he happens to be my VERY favorite. Gordon, like Batman, is only beginning his story here, and we don’t spend a huge amount of time with him, but he stands out amongst an outstanding cast of characters because of his “average” good guy traits, and is probably the closest thing that we, the audience, have for a stand-in. Gordon is a great guy, and not in a boring way. We root for you, Gordon!
  • Does Gary die in this one? No! He lives! Live, Gordon, live!

Continue reading “Thirteen: Batman Begins, Friends with Babies, and Helping the Helpers”

Seven: The Backwoods, Depression, and The Manliness of Carrying Your Own Shotgun


I was feeling a little depressed last week when I settled in for my screening of The Backwoods on my laptop. I know, I know, watching movies on one’s laptop is not primo, not if you’re a REAL CINEMA fan, but as I said I was feeling low and liked the idea of holding off on leaving my bed for as long as possible.

  • The Backwood’s ranking on the Oldometer: 4 and a half/10
  • Gary Oldman character quality: Paul isn’t a good guy in the slightest, and thus I don’t think we’re supposed to like him as much as I did, but he is a forceful, active character who is wrapped up in his ideas about what Manliness is, and that’s interesting. Paul is an intriguing break in between Jim Gordon roles for Oldman (he still sports the signature stache, even), and is a nice reminder of the powerful characters Oldman can take charge of. He’s pretty darn magnetic in the role.
  • Does Gary die in this one? Yeah, and then it’s all downhill from there.

Continue reading “Seven: The Backwoods, Depression, and The Manliness of Carrying Your Own Shotgun”

Six: Lost in Space, the horrors of ’98, villainous career advice, and life lessons from Vincent Price


And here we have it! The first truly, truly terrible movie from Gary Oldman’s oeuvre that I’ve hit this year. When I say this movie is heinous, I’m not joking. Just when you think the cinematic dust has settled (and there’s a lot of literal dust in this movie. Space dust?), just when you start hoping that this hunk of sci-fi flotsam might at least coast to a passable ending, it surprises you by getting even worse.